Today people say the world has turned into a small sphere where everything gets restricted to "I , me and myself". But is this exactly the case? Lets look at it from my glasses.
I see people using more of "you, your" while talking. Lets see this with an example- the friend says,'its your fault' the boss says,'you are responsible', parents say,' you have changed'. How does it feel when someone talks to us like this? It feels pathetic, it makes us angry, it makes us say, 'yeah, so?'.
Lets see now, if the same message has to be conveyed using the word' I'. It then becomes, 'I think its your fault, Or I believe it was your responsibility, or I feel a change in you these days’.
How did it sound now? Was it offensive? Did it sound too harsh? Will the person still try to defend themselves? Maximum of the times No.
Using an I statement helps us take responsibility of our words and hence it does not make others feel offensive most of the time. It opens the door for further conversation or discussion. But when we more often use 'you', it shuts the door for further discussions.
The same goes when we appreciate people. From my personal experience, I felt a difference in their response when I changed my compliments from 'that painting is nice' to 'I find the painting really nice.' Or ‘the presentation was good’ to ‘ I liked your presentation.’
The benefits of using an 'I' statement will be continued in my next blog. Till then try using this, feel the difference and share your experience with me.
Come LetsTalk and LetSmile.
- Prachi Rathi
Psychologist, Counsellor, Graphologist and Life Skills Trainer at LetSmile- Counselling Centre for Your Happiness.