208 Alphanso Estate, 5 Mangoe Lane, Kolkata
+91 97401 44286
+91 97401 44286 208 Alphanso Estate, 5 Mangoe Lane, Kolkata
Owner of my mood?


Am I the owner of my Mood?

Let’s see:

What are the things that make us sad?

·        When our thoughts doesn’t match with others

·        When our friends and family are in problem.

·        When people talk bad about us

·        When we are blamed by people close to us.

And the list can be never ending. But from whatever reason we pick we can overall put it as  “when situations don’t fall the way we want them to be, we get sad. When people don’t behave the way we expect them to be, we become sad”. From this we can see how dependent we are on others and situations created by others, for our mood.

Let’s understand this better with this example. When we go out with a small child and the child sees a toy shop, what do they do? They ask politely “can I have this? or I want this please” and we say “no, lets go”. Again the child says “I want this” and we say again “no, we have it in the house, lets go”. Finally the child starts crying loudly and shouting and then we give up and buy him the toy. The child learns that if you ask politely no one pays attention but when you scream people give you what you want.

When we grow up, and say ask someone, “can you please lower the volume of music?” the person says yes they will do it but they don’t or they refuse. Again we request them, “please lower the volume” and it goes unheard again. Finally we shout, “lower the volume else I will complain…” and the person does it this time.

Our conditioning gets stronger with each such incident happening almost everyday in our life. Finally we learn, not to waste time in requesting others twice rather showing anger and getting the work done at once, saves time. We justify saying “we don’t get angry all the time but only when required” and this statement converts to “we don’t get angry but THEY make us angry” (putting the blame on others). We give them the power to rule our mood and make us angry. This eventually becomes our habit and tends to be so strong and programmed in our personality, that we end up being angry all the time. We become a person who gets  their work done only by being angry and stop using our brain to see if the work could be done alternatively. We stop making choices.

We take pride in saying I am never going to let go off the insult he did to me today because I feel hurt. But what we tend to forget is by carrying the burden of such a negative thought we complicating our lives only whereas the other person wouldn’t even realise that we are hurt. We keep saying that “only when they apologise will we feel better”. But why? Why are we giving others the power to rule our moods and affect us with their actions, not only for a moment but sometimes for years. Why can’t we let go off things which hurt us instead of everyday carrying the baggage of it. We also say, that because of the Situation, our mood is upset. But why cant it be the vice versa, where according to our moods we make the situation work for us.

When we drop tea on the sofa what do we generally do? Clean it up immediately. Why?  So that there’s no stain on the sofa. When we take care of our physical materialistic world so much, then why don’t we remove things instantly when it drops in our head. Why do we allow everyday some or the other stain to fall on us and not clean it off instantly? When was the last time we cleaned all the stains from our mind and heart? We loose our original colour because of the stains we keep collecting over the years with just one line on the repeat mode  “ they did this, that’s why I am hurt…”.  If its obvious to remove stains instantly from the sofa, why is it so difficult to remove it from our minds?

Lets start removing these stains today. It’s going to take a lot of time and energy as we enjoyed collecting stains over the years but it’s not impossible. Can we all make a conscious effort of removing these stains we bore all this while. Make a choice of either letting others decide how our mood should be or making our mood create a beautiful situation around us?

Let’s be the OWNER OF OUR MOODS.

Come LetsTalk and LetSmile.

- Prachi Rathi

  Psychologist, Counsellor, Graphologist and Life Skills Trainer