Are feedbacks essential? Who gives someone the authority to give a feedback? Does it affect us mentally or emotionally? Do we accept feedbacks? Why do we feel some feedbacks are important and some are not? Is it because of the way it is delivered or from the person it is coming from or that we don’t find the content relevant… confused? Too many questions on a topic we might have not even have considered important till date. So here we are today discussing about Feedbacks.
But before delving deeper into these questions lets understand what we generally mean by feedbacks. Any form of compliments, criticisms, remarks, advices, comments, opinions and responses from people around us about us or our work or just anything related to us, is a Feedback.
Lets answer the questions above before we see the sandwich J
Yes feedbacks are essential for us to see the same thing from a different perspective at times, boost our confidence or help us grow overall. You don’t need to be in the authority position to give a feedback. Its given when you feel the need to do so or when asked for. Yes it does affect us mentally and emotionally. It depends on the person giving the feedback or the situation that we decide to accept it or not.
If we are to give someone a feedback, do we really know how to give someone a feedback?
Lets think of the last time when someone gave us a feedback. Ok, if I were to state my example last time when I got a feedback was yesterday…from my mom and it was after I arranged my cupboard. She said,” the cupboard still looks so messy. Did you anything at all?” (just mommy things). Whoa! Guys imagine after 2hrs of hard-work if we hear something like this. Yes I felt bad L.
And last time I gave a feedback to someone was probably to my sister, yesterday, again while she was showing me one of her dance moves. So I told her “I feel your choreography is really strong but somewhere I see a lack in finishing those moves. If that could be rehearsed more probably it would be a great dance and I say this because you can do it and I know it.”
Readers, how does both the feedback make you feel? Do you see the difference? Trust me I do exactly like I mentioned above in my example and I am sure when someone would give us a feedback the same way, even we would feel happy or atleast be open to consider the feedback. When we get feedbacks like this the content and intention of feedbacks becomes more important than the person giving in the feedback. It makes us think and reconsider.
Now this is called the Sandwich technique. Here we layer the major content that needs attention with compliments and accolades. It not only makes the person feel respected but also motivates them to consider and rework for their betterment. This technique is very handy and can be used anywhere, with anyone and in any situation (omg! Sounds like teleshopping advertisement J). What is important is to make conscious efforts of doing the same and bringing about a healthier change in our relationships. So basically what you have to do here is while giving a feedback, ensure you say a statement thats motivating and makes the receiver open to the conversation, then talk about the real stuff, carefully choosing your words and finish off by saying that you genuinely care and believe in the person and expect a positive change soon. This will help the receiver be more open to your feedback, value it and consider a change. Hola! Your work is done. If your feedback was a positive one like that of a compliment it will boost their confidence and if it was a criticism, it will help them grow better.
So Readers, go out and try this for yourself. Once you succeed you can ask others to do the same and feel the difference. Do let me have lots of Feedbacks from all of you for this blog but till the time you write me a Feedback…
Counselling Centre for Your Happiness.
- Prachi Rathi
Psychologist, Counsellor, Graphologist and Life Skills Trainer