205 Alphanso Estate, 5 Mangoe Lane, Kolkata
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+91 97401 44286 205 Alphanso Estate, 5 Mangoe Lane, Kolkata
APOLOGIZING HELPS...REALLY?

FunFact: Did we know that it’s better to use the word Apologise than Sorry?  Yes it is. The word Sorry originally comes from the word Sorrow, which brings along negativity with it. Apologise is a more positive word bringing in positivity to the context.

How often do we apologise? Who should apologise? Who should we apologise? How will it help? Is it important?

Very rarely, do we actually apologise. Or if I have to say, we apologise more often to strangers than people who are close to us, isn’t it? Introspect.

Anyone and everyone should apologise. We should seek for forgiveness from to anyone who we might have hurt intentionally or unintentionally. To err is human, True. And so it is also important to apologise each time for it. It doesn’t make us smaller than anyone. It is also important to be apologetic to ourselves, for the times, when we are careless about our health and/or harm ourselves.

Apologising helps us first than the people who we are apologising. After apologising, we feel light. It’s like removing a stone from our heart that had been making us feel so negative about everything around us. It also helps us realise our mistakes and gives a chance to rectify them. It saves relationships. It makes us feel more confident about ourselves. It makes us a better person, we become more aware of ourselves. Apologising is a way of showing respect and empathy to the wronged person/people around us.

Apology has the ability to disarm others of their anger and to prevent further misunderstandings. While an apology cannot undo harmful past actions, if done sincerely and effectively, it can undo the negative effects of those actions. So yes, it’s important to seek forgiveness.

But these apologies should be sincere and felt from heart, else it’s not worth it. Apology, when sincere and intentional, is a powerful, perhaps even life-altering, tool for both the giver and the receiver.

Its easy to put the blame on others or make excuses but what is difficult is taking responsibility of our wrong actions. It requires humility and courage. Learning to apologize is the first and most important step in the healing process. Not only does it show the recipient that you acknowledge their right to feel hurt, but it opens the way to forgiveness. However, a timely apology makes more impact than a delayed one, which might not mean anything later.

These 3R’s, completes an apology. So incase you are trying to apologise but feeling stuck, you can refer to the following.

Regret: Make a statement of regret for having caused hurt or damage.

Responsibility: Take responsibility for our actions.

Remedy: We should be willing to have a remedy for the situation.

We see so many cases around us where family members have not spoken to each other for years because no one wants to apologise first. Is this healthy? How long can we live like this? How long do we want to bottle up inside and suffer. Apologising is not just crucial for our mental health but also physical health.

Let’s ask ourselves, when was the last time we apologised from our heart to someone. Do we choose to apologise today?

Come LetsTalk and LetSmile.

- Prachi Rathi

Psychologist, Counsellor, Graphologist and Life Skills Trainer at   LetSmile- Counselling Centre for Your Happiness.